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mandy-low @blogspot.com ♥
Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I know you know shit. I know you feel like shit. But why the fuck cant we be fucking honest and fucking fix these shits? What the fuck!!! I dont fucking understand the situation now. How come you dont wanna clear it up with me? How come you dont want to fix it out with me? Why must it all be so ruthless and cruel? Why must cheat ourselves? I dont fucking understand??? What is real what i fake?? Knn cb....

I really dont understand. I dont whether to cry or to laugh about this shit. You seem like a nice guy. I thought you were. But why were you so fucking harsh? What did you hear about me that you think you should just be harsh and end it all right there and then? What the fuck did you think i do?

Why cant i have a chance to explain? Why i dont have the chance to fucking defend and fight for this shit? CB. I dont understand. YOU REALLY REALLY DONT WANT THIS? I still dont fucking get it. KNN. I hate this confused feeling. How come must be like that? Why cant we like, work it out and stuff? Am i really doing this one-sided ma?

Hatiku selalu bersamamu..... (if thats how you say it in malay)

I really cant put it down like this. I cant fucking see it crumble and go "oh fuck it" with you. I fucking cant... CB. you fucking haunt my fucking dreams. How the fuck? HOW??? Knn. maybe its exaggerating. But i fucking dont see meaning in shits anymore without you. Fuck now everything i do is about trying to get you outta my head, my life, my heart.... I CANT DO THAT LAH... I really cant lah...

Its not fair. I know to try to get over you i did many fucked up things that is not only unfair to you, its unfair to alot more others and myself... But fuck... I was trying to get over you. Girls do fucked up and stupid things to get over stuff. Im sure sometimes guys do too. Fuck, gimme a break. Gimme a fucking chance to mend this shit. Why must it be like this? I cant fucking get my mind off you. No amount of sweet talking and lovey dovey shit is enuf to get you outta my head.... How come you just dont wanna give it a fucking chance???

Its true what a friend told me... " YOU BOTH JUST NEED TO FUCKING GROW UP"

Yea.. Just grow up can? We grow up to-fucking-gether... fuck the drama fuck everything just chiong one more time and see where it bring us is wrong ma??? I cant love another while loving you. I just cant. And i cant let you go... Why nobody seem to get it.... Lifes a fucker...

Im going to drink. fucking emo shit. Like what many people will say... Emo fuckers should die... Yah. Fucking die.... DIE..... DIE!!!!! gods a bitch.. If god hears your prayers... god will kill me... show me how bad can it be.... Dying doesnt seem so bad to me... An unatural way of natural death seems so cool... Pray that god kills all emo fucks... PRAY MATHA FUCKAS PRAY.

2 options... run away? or die....? run away still sounds scarier... plus running away in this fucked up world requires tons and tons of money... unless i would like to run away and then die.... not the option i was looking for. Have you ever thought of ways you could die just by being the everyday average you? Like if a drink driver knocks you down... Or if the contruction crane malfunctions and drops a 100ton of rocks on you... or if there was thunder and lightning and you get struck by that slight percentage of high power voltage... or if the bus crashed and you fly out 5 metres from the vehicle and get crushed by another vehicle...

There are so many ways to die... So im thinking if i think of more ways... there might be a higher chace of at least one happening.... maybe ill choke on alcohol and puke my lungs out and then die like a fihs out of water... Oh maybe my gastric acid will become so acidic itll eat up my inerds and ill melt into a pile of nothing.... I should do a gory movie before i die... Sounds like a plan....

Fuck happy tots... i dont like things that can come and go as they please.... Like you... I dont like you people cos you can come and go as you please... i dun like anything anymore... cos some one took most of my heart away and never seem to have enuf time to return it.... Wah... like song lyrics... ok.. im starting to talk to myself on my blog.. GOOD JOB MANDY.