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mandy-low @blogspot.com ♥
Thursday, April 01, 2010

SO GUESS WHO'S BACK IN TOWN?

Ipoh trip was alright. Not DAMN FUCKING AWESOME, but not DAMN FUCKING BAD either. I enjoyed the alcohol and the company. I enjoyed meeting new people and joking around. But seemed like there wasnt anything much to do except drink and eat. Maybe i just havent gotten used to living like this. But yea. So i guess that sums it up. Nothing much to talk about unless you want me to elaborate on the alcohol intakes.

I HAVE TO THANK THE NEW AND OLD FRIENDS OF IPOH FOR BEING SO WELCOMING AND VERY VERY FRIENDLY TO ME... =) HERE GOES THE LIST!!

SAM, JACK, "FRANCOIS" DONG, AH SHUN, CARINE, LILY, AH CUI, KOK CHING, SIN KAH, MAMA, AUNTIE, UNCLE, GU-PO, SOK-GONG, POPO, AH WAI, AH YAN, AH MUN, CHENG CHENG    AND MANY MORE!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SO, im back here in my homeland. Unable to sleep without alcohol. Having a very bad bad gastric and i keep worrying about something. Keep on worrying about it till i cant sleep til somethings done about it. Im getting all paranoid and i think a few more days and i might just explode and die.

So 12th MAY. Graduation day. Sian.... Signed up already but still wondering if i should go... Should dwell further. Im not in the modd to make decisions like this now. Not in the right state of mind. Im sleeping with pictures for christ sake. And today i found myself talking to myself out loud.. If i dont die of stomach cancer i might die of insanity.

I NEED TO FIND A FUCKING JOB. Im broke. FUCKING BROKE and im not hiding any secret savings or anything cos ive used up everything. Such a fucking failure. Im a loser. I cant see it any other way. Im starting to think im not cut out for sales. Im starting to doubt everything about me. I dont even think i can pass  the power boat license. I dont think ill find a good job. i dont think i can do good anywhere at any time.. Fuck faith cos it comes and goes...    =(

I want to start writing letters soon... I really do.. I need to build up the courage ...