Just a letter to Allen first. And then my inspiration motivational kind of post k? =) If you dont want emo-shits from me..
Scroll down to the red words for the non-emo post. =)
"GINA isnt real. It's just a made up name for A
nother girl. LOL. Gina's real name is actually _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .... LOL. Isn't it freaking obvious? I can see it all over facebook, you loser. SEE...!! Once again you prove to me you're nothing but a liar. Can't even stop lying when you wanna be harsh and give me the "harsh" "fact"... Really. I do not understand. You're a freaking liar. And you suck so badly at lying too. And no girl will be happy with you. Trust me. NO GIRL. =) Maybe you should start dating men. HAHA. You look the part anyway.. LOL. Ok. Sorry i sound so spiteful and angry. Im not pissed. I just dont get it. LOL. Maybe for fun. And to play along with my part of loving you til death. Maybe i should, go create some trouble. I feel the need to have some adrenaline rush through my veins...
Ok laaaaaah.... Over liao means over lor... Im too tired and lazy to go through all the sadness and depression about you anyway. Thanks to the feelings i keep harbouring for you. Im screwing up everything else. I keep forgetting stuff cos i keep focusing on forgetting you. And my mind's becoming more and more screwed. And you're not worth
half of it. Even though i still love you, and im ready to accept your flaws and work things out. But i have started to believe... STRONGLY believe, that, my life, will no longer have you in it. That you will no longer be anywhere near more than just a friend. You'll be just a past. A story ill tell my future husband about. And in a couple years, ill be looking back. And laughing at how silly i was... U never wanted me back. U never did. For a brief moment after we broke up. I was your safety net. I was your net, just in case she didnt like you back at least you wont be all alone. You know your time is limited .... And you were afraid(knew) nobody could love you like i do. So you kept me. Then when you realise she had potential. You decided its time for me to go.
my point of the story anyway. And you're not gonna do anything to prove me wrong. So ill stick with that. But i wish next time when you see me at my wedding and you're no more than just a casual guest, or i may even forget to invite you, i really do hope, and i really think it would happen that you look at me and you feel all sorts of regret and guilt. And if anyone tells me maybe in time to come you and him will get another opportunity to try again. I'll say this "NO!" the longest no you'll ever hear... No more... I don't go back to ex(s). I just dont. It's like buying a broken antique... Whats the point. Plus the way you just left. I'll never get over that. So it'll never work out. years later even if i can look back and laugh. I STILL wont get over the fact of how you left and just got over me like i meant TOO little. Oh sorry. In other words? You're a fucking fucktard. Go fuck spider. LOL. Kidding.
Please... TRY YOUR BEST to be happy with some other girl. Cos trust me. Wont come easy. With you and the way you are. To be happy with some other girl? Wait lor.. WAIT LONG LONG AH! =) Lol... Wanna like another girl... But havent even start only got problems liao. LOL. What do you think the future holds for you? LOL. Happy? You're just kidding yourself. She's not for you. Oh wait, sorry. I meant, YOU are not meant for HER.
OKAY. Above all.. All the fucking best Allen. You, won't be happy without me. =) Not the kind of happy i can give you anyway. Cos the love i have for you is like shangri-la.. But you preferred to go for some cheap 1-star kind of love. SO, go ahead!! Go feel like ignorance is bliss. Go feel like the 1-star kind of love is "enough" for you. Cos in the end, you'll realise that you gave up my love for something so much less than love. K. My fucking draggy long point is. She cant love you like i do. Nobody can. =) But im not the noble kind of love. So those of you who have opinions like "if you love him why you curse him? why cant you just wish him all the best as long as he's happy?" can go suck my asshole.
Cos im not noble when people break my heart. Im not noble when people lie to me and betray my trust. Im not noble when people act like they care and go thru all means to show that they care but in actual fact they dont fucking care. Im not noble because you took away the love i held on so tightly to, and threw and spit on it. I dont hate you. I despise you. And I pity you. Cos after i cross this bridge. You no longer will be able to get back your 5-star worth of loving feeling. So stick with your 1-star. =) She's all you've got and all you're gonna get.
I extract sermons/wise words from a book by Mitch Albom. "Have A Little Faith" These sermons means so much. It was a jewish Rabbi that said this words apparently. Made me think. Plus i like the stories he tell.. =) I'll type it out.. =)
" A man seeks employment in a farm. He hands his letter of recommendation to his new employer. It reads simply 'He sleeps in the storm.'
The owner is desperate for help so he hires the man. Several weeks passed, and suddenly, in the middle of the night, a powerful storm rips through the valley.
Awakened by the swirling rain and the howling wind, the owner leaps out of bed. he calls for his new hired hand, but the man was sleeping soundly.
So he dashes off to the barn. He sees, to his amazement, that the animals are secure with plenty of feed.
He runs out to the field. He sees the bales of wheat have been bound and are wrapped in tarpaulins.
He races to the silo. The doors are latched, and the grain is dry.
And then he understands. 'He sleeps in the storm.'
My friends, if we tend to the things that are important in life, if we are right with those we love and behave in line with our faith, our lives will not be cursed with the aching throb of unfulfilled business. Our words will always be sincere, our embraces tight. We will never wallow in the agony of 'I could have, I should have.' We can sleep in a storm.
And when it's time, our good-byes will be complete. "
" When a baby comes into this world, its hands are clenched, right? Why? because a baby, not knowing any better, wants to grab everything, to say, 'the whole world is mine.'
But when an old person dies, how does he do so? With his hands open. Why? Because he has learned the lesson.
We can take nothing with us. "