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mandy-low @blogspot.com ♥
Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I need to get this poison out of me...
This poison that getting me addicted to the fun i had in Hatyai.
I need to stop thinking about Hatyai.
I cant eat with out thinking about Hatyai.
I cant sleep without thinking about Hatyai.
I cant work without wishing i was in Hatyai.
I've been poisoned by Hatyai.
I just feel like taking the next flight back there and stay there.
For as long as i want to.

This sucks.. I dont wanna talk about it.
Cos talking about it makes me miss it.
Missing it makes me feel foolish.
Feeling foolish makes me sad.

So anyway. What Sam said is true.
You might not forget them.
But they'll forget you.
So you know what?
Im gonna try hard to forget them.
Like as if Hatyai was just another trip.
Im awesome. I can do better. =)

So apart from that...
Life's been boring.
Planned a christmas party at home this weekend.
But somehow i have this feeling its not gonna be how i wish it was.
So im lowering my expectations.
Im just happy if i can have all my family together and just chill out at home.
Talk cock sing song play mahjong... =)

Well today im determined to get  Hatyai out of my head.
And to live my Singapore life.
My lousy lonely stupid fucked up singapore life.

Hmmm, i realise.
This feelings i have.
Have a very big possibility that it is exaggerated because!!!
Because i dont have someone special.
Someone here that keeps me grounded and makes every other country with/without him seems unimportant.
I want a boyfriend. Why boyfriend? I think i dont really like girls anymore.
Thanks to the office environment where i am surrounded by women everywhere.
I realise. There's not much to them.
Just.. Nice to look at...

think my sexuality is changing..
Lol. Maybe temporarily. Maybe forever.
But who knows.
Who cares.
I need to find a boyfriend now... LIKE NOW~~
And i dont wanna do it via facebook and stuff cos its lame.
To get to know people from facebook and media stuff.

SUCKsssss... Work starts... =(
I hate this.. I dont like where i am now..
Other than the part that i might leave my family,
I wish i was somewhere else...

I wanna migrate..
Fly far away...
Become a totally new person..
Im sick of feeling fucked up in Singapore...
I wanna be fucked up somewhere else.. =(