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Tuesday, June 28, 2005

It's been a little more than a couple of months since i felt this screwed up.. I dunno.. I think im breaking down.. Knn... I hate to admit that.... I mean can you imagine me? Breaking down..??? Actually yes.. But nah.. Who cares..

So, i've found out that there's actually alot of things that turned me off recently.. Yah.. DADA* I realise i have come to think about him as kinda jerky... I mean, i dunno.. It's like im kinda a play thing.. When he's bored he just goes "hey im bored talk to me" or say a stupid joke.... Then when im bored sometimes he just ignores... And i mean you wanna noe how diferent he is in real life than in the sms-life?? Well, number one he so much as talks to me one sentence in 2-3 weeks.... Number two, when he talks to me(live), he doesn't even look at me... I ask him a question he dun even look at me.. Its either just nod? or shake his head... What a polite well-mannered boy he is....

Yah.. Totally... And then, in sms? Wah, can joke, can talk, can crap ard like there's no tmr... But when school comes he just becomes some timid shy little boy who doesn't even dare look a girl in the eye.. But YET!!! Yet he allow girls to touch him.. And girls to say mushy things to him... I really wonder if he's physcho or am i just too old fashion for this kinda guy? Wtf??? Its like he is plain ol fucking weird about the whole life issue.. Is he even human?

Nvm... Decided that he'll still be the love of my life.. for now..... But i wun really put much thought into it or even waste my time thinking about him... It's just too tiring...

Ok.. About my grandfather.. He's better now.. But duie to alot of circumstances, he may lose his toes and may need assistance in future for walking or moving about.. And will be going thru therapy.. He's currently out of the danger zone but nothing can be confirmed yet... We know he can hear us though.. And he responds by nodding or shaking his head... A little like DADA* duncha think? Stupid... Anyways, yah.. So i hope he's alright...

There's nothing much i can say now.. Or rather i can't think of anything to write... I just wish Cinday all the best.. And dun think too much into it... And thanks guys.. All of you.. For your best wishes and concern.. I thank you from the bottom of my heart... *loves* :)
Sunday, June 26, 2005

My grandpa's better now.. He can respond and open his eyes cos they lessened the sedation... But now bcos he struggle, they increase it again... Yupps.. He's been complaining pain in his lower torso(side)... I hope its nothing serious... Yah.. Just hoping he's alright...

And to tell me that my grandpa being in hospital is not bad enough.. Clarissa is also there.. Suspected of appendix... Wtf... Im seeing bad things happen to people i love and i hope that's the end of it.. I dun want no more hospitalisation of any other people...

So, tmr's gonna be the start of term 3.... What a spoiler.... I mean, although i wanna go to school badly and refresh myself from all this bad stuff... It stills scares me when i think of Moley tan saying "Mandy, why didn't you do your homework? Now i think i need to talk to your mother.. Im gonna call her tonight.." OR Miss lim saying "mandy, you have one whole month to do your holiday homework but still you refuse to do it.. Why? you're a smart girl but you're just not putting it in use." OR Cinday saying "See! You ask me tell you what homework also no use.. Like you got do lidat..."

Thinking of what my friends and teachers will say when they found out i haven't finish my hw kills my mood to even pack my bag or sleep early so i can get to school on time.. For once i would love to stay home and just.... I dunno.. stay home!!!!! I wish nothing bad will happen while im away in school.. You know what i mean? I dun wanna recieve a call from my fammily and hear some bad news... I will totally crack and ill ponteng school... Ill totally grab my bag, run out of class then sprint all the way to take a cab(only bcos im not capable of sprinting to the hospital).... Then when i go back to school ill totally DIE!!! How can i study??? I mean ONLY if anything bad happens.. If not, life goes on....

Im so bloody pooped out i think im losing it... I twisted my hand like dunno when.. So painful now.. Then my hand dunno how come so many bruise... The bum-bum on my head's starting to get painful... My legs get numb soooo easily that i think SITTING is a problem.... Bloody hell.. My boy's breaking down even though i slept.. why??? I hope i dun fall sick.. Catastrophe strikes if i do.. I need to look after mama and Bryan wan.. I can't afford to.. Better go catch some sleep.. After i bath.. TRY to finish my english hw... Watch some tv... Put Bryan to sleep.. Then ill sleep.. KNN.. Stupid life.. Hate it...
Friday, June 24, 2005

Been spending most of my time in the hospital... Yeah... It's still kinda blurry for me... I dun think i get the big picture yet.. I dunno.. Maybe im not mature enough... Seems so, er, not real.... I mean, now when i see him, my mind goes blank.. I feel the sadness in my heart but there's nothing.. Zilch.... Really.... I dunno what to say... Seeing him like this, kinda make me think alot about life and its unexpected turn of events....

Everytime i see someone cry when they see him, there's this sour feeling in my heart but no matter how bad it feels, my eyes are still dry... I dun understand.. am i getting stronger or ami what? I really dun.... Now im seeing all this, makes me afraid that any of my love ones can disappear from my life... But one thing that i haven't changed about myself is, surprisingly, im still not learning how to cherish and treasure whatever i have. I mean i WANT to.. But just today, i almost felt like shouting at my uncle and grandma... When they scolded me for something wrong i just wanted to shout at them and totally burst....

Im such a pms freak.. But luckily today i was able to resist it.... I know everybody's stress... So i took the bullet i shot... What kinda meaning is that? I dunno.. I just feel like shouting at everyone today.. Snub at them at every single little thing and tell them they suck.... That i wanna go back to school and never come back home. But then i stopped to think, and realise home is the one and only place that ill feel safe no matter what happens.. Whereas in school im open to all the knives and guns... What a scary scary world out there. I would wanna stay in the hospital 24/7 only bcos i dun wanna be anywhere else....

*sigh* Whatever it is.. Im really pmsing right now so i have no idea whats coming up next.. for all you know i may just as well smash this fucking comp.... Stupid laggy mother ass slow comp.... Yah... See.. Told you i still haven't learnt to cherish whatever shit i have yet.. It just ain't registering right in my mind.. It's in a whirl.. My life was almost perfect in my expectations.. Then this gotta happen.. That's when i say, no life is perfect... That's why everytime im so close to perfection something bad gotta happen.. If it really works this way, i'd rather my life NOT be perfect but filled with many flaws but i still have all my close ones with me for always...

Yah.. Im posting so many stupid things... I know.. Just can't help it.. The first time i say him on that scary place... All the thoughts of going thru another "ah gong" came all the way to my mind and it scared me.. Bigg time.. That's why i broke down so badly on the first day... I dun wanna go thru another of this shit again EVER!!! I guess nobody does... :) Bye! May all your life be shit-less....

*Dun tell me what i can't do*
*He's gonna live*
*He's the greatest man next to my father*
*No way anybody's gonna take such a hero away*
*It's just not right*
Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Well, my grandpa has been in critical condition since 3 days ago... I dunno. everything happened kinda fast. Like we dun even know anything at first. He had a minor operation actually. It was actually a success. But suddenly things chg and he got some infection. Then his organs started to fail. I dunno. It's so scary. I wish he'd wake up and become strong like last time. My grandma's pretty sad..

Okays. I can't blog much now.. Erm, ill talk about it some other time when i got the time... Haiz.. Im wishing everything go well... Im so scared he'll go... Okays.. Erm, Ais.. Call me.....
Saturday, June 18, 2005

Muahahahaha.. Im feeling pretty groovin today... Considered i slept til 11.30 and had nothing to do except eat and watch tv.. Im feeling rather hyper... Ahahaha.. So, tmr's father's day and i haven't come up with a good enough poem for my dad yet.... Dammit!! I so need inspiration right now but it ain't coming to me the right way...

So, Thursday was spent the whole day with Ais. Was pretty fun.. Missed her sooo damn much and seeing her definitely made me wanna... erm, see her more?? WTF??? Dunno wat im talking about... Anyways, we watched ICE PRINCESS and it came out fine.. Just that half of the time we were laughing our asses off bcos the day before we watched it. We coincidentally found out that some actor that is in the show(TREVOR BLUMAS) is GAY!!! And i tell you, SHOCKING news mann... Hayden Christensen is GAY too!!!!! And apparently BOTH of them had one night of "fun" with AARON CARTER!!! WTF right??? Aaron carter.. And they had like sex with dunno how many thousand people before.. GUYS!!! I mean GAY sex okay... Ahaha.... Funny funny....

Somemore in the show, he kissed the girl and then we started laughing and we keep making gay jokes bout him.. Ais couldn't stop laughing.... It was pretty darn funny... But it was such a shame cos if TREVOR BLUMAS wasn't gay... I'd prolly think he's super cute and have a slight crush on him..... But oh wells, i guess he prefers Hayden darling yea??? Ahaha.. Wonder how will Logen react when he finds out Aaron carter is kinda gay too... Ahaha.... FREAK OUT!!!!!

Well, Tom cruise and Katie holmes is getting married soon... They're engaged.... WTF... Tom cruise is sooooo freaking cool..... He is handsome, charming, rich, an actor, sweet, romantic, watever and watever!!! Too bad he doesn't play rugby.. If he does, he's probably the man of my dreams!!! Ahahaha..... But he 46.. Which is erm, 31 years older than me!! Whoa!!! That's a big NONO for anyone man.... 31 years age gap is a BIGGGGGGG difference...... AHaha.... Guess i just have to forget him.. *sob in a sarcastic way* What a shame!!! ;)

Let me see.. Talking bout man of my dreams, let me make up a guy that i think i will go crazy over yeah?

-handsome-
-charming-
-plays rugby- (rugby rules!!)
-strong- (but not violent)
-loves me- (more than i love him)
-sweet- (to me only!!)
-romantic- (ooh.. Lover-boy! ahaha..)
-sensitive- (not over-sensitive though!)
-not too comeptetive-
-not sexist-
-never be TOO self obsessed- (duh~ Gotta love me more)
-Humourous- (it's a MUST HAVE)
-know when to be serious-
-love kids-
-not a perv- (like LOGEN!! ahaha.. Jk...)
-Good body hygiene- (like duh~)
-patience- (with me, EVERYBODY have to have THAT)
-self confidence-
-nice body- (ular-la)
-rich-
-filthy rich- (ok.. Not exactly filthy la...)
-super duper RICH-
-pampers me- (like a princess)
-love animals-
-friendly-
-charitable- (since he's rich, WHY NOT???)
-healthy-
-sociable- (make sure my friends think he's super HOTT!!)
-loves me for who i am and even for who im not- (does that even make sense??)


Muahahah... Looking at how perfect this guy is for me... I think ill have enough jealousy to rule my whole freaking life... I mean, DUH~ Of cos girls will definitely want this guy to be theirs... Ahaha.. Will there EVER be such a guy in my life?? I haven't met one yet.... How saddening... It saddens me that there may be someone like that somewhere out there but im not ANYWHERE near him.... Ahaha.... Since i've already made him... Lets create a name for him too... Lets see...

TOM?
TREVOR!??!?! (ahahah)
CHU KANG???
Nathan??
Damien?
Toby?
Chris?
Jake?? (wat a jock-y name)
James?
Saber?? (wat kinda nem is THAT)
Lamer?? (nice...)
Loser?? (woo.. I like this one)
Javier??
Shane??
Griender?? (i created this.. which totally suck)
Kenny?? (wtf??)
Jim?
Billy? (goat??!?)
Alphabets?? (Oooh.. I like it!)


I have decided!!! To call him.... the best... the never heard before.. The invinsible.............. DADA!!!!!! Ahaha.... Nah... I wanna call him unknown..... So mystified.... I love it.. The unknown!!!! Cool.... Love it babe!

Okays, enough of crap.. Gota snap back to reality.. Got tonnes of homework not dane.. My school shoes ain't washed yet.. My cupboards ain't packed yet... My wardrobe is still as untidy... Damn!! Million and Mi--ee-liions tah do... Okays! Mandy's gotta rush.. Bye babes! Love ya!

have a great holiday Ais!! Miss cha! *smucks
Friday, June 17, 2005

Im bored.. I haven eat my breakfast.. Gonna cook maggie laters... After that, gonna do my homework.. After homework ill prolly sleep.. after sleep ill prolly do homework again cos i noe i wun finish it in one go... After that then ill watch some tv.. Then maybe sleep awhile.. Then go mama house.. Fuck.. How boring can today be???? Stupid momo.....

Oh.. My grandaddy's having an operation today.. Hopefully everything goes on smoothly.... It better!! If not i sue everyone with everything i've got!!! which is NOt much.. BUT I DUN CARE!!! Ahaha.. BEtter let my yeh yeh be in good healthy shape after that.... My brother's friend say will be alright cos his grandpa also kena before.. Hope he's right... Yupps...

So played mahjong til late last night... Actually i didn't play... Only my brother play with his friends... But by sitting beside him and playing 2 round for him.. I am able to get 2 dollars just bcos im the SOLE reason why he won!!! Ahahahaha.. Right...... Im his lucky star... Eeeew! That's not something to be proud of.. I'd rather be my own lucky star.. Yeah! I addicted to mahjong once again.. Totaaly addicted babe....

Hmmm, someone's home.. I have a feeeling its my father.. Why is he home? Slacking again i suppoose... You see!!! My family is full of slackers.. But they still get the job done right.. So you cant blame me for being a slacker.. Just that i slack... AND i dun do the job... I lack that bit of thingy they call responsibility.... Yupps.. SHOOT me!!! Bleah~

Okays.. Gtg... Bye!
Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Nothing really fancy.. Went for badminton with my aunt and her family with two of my cousin's cousin... Was fun... Lost most of the game.. Ahaha.. Lousy lousy badminton player.... Ahaha... Then went to lor 7 for dinner with them.. Food was nice... Then went to aunt's house for awhile then headed back home... That's one thing good about everyone staying near each other.. ahaha...

Realise also today that its been a looooooooong while since i stayed over at anyone's place.. What a bore! Damn.. Nvm.. Yupps! Tried doing a lil hw today.. Erm, i did SOME!! Like one mcq paper for chem and 7 questions for english... I know.. Ill work on it ok!!! Just that i was so super tired today... Okok.. Blame me! Blame me for being a typical teenage kid who hates doing hw during holidays.. Fine... ahahah...

Well, going out to watch a movie with Ais tmr.. and ill be going out with Yeni the next day.. Cos Yeni say she only Friday can.. Damn! Ahaha.. Hope i dun spend much... Dun wanna spent too much ah.. No more money already...

sunday's father's day everyone.. So wish your daddy(s) or dad(s) happy father's day and hugging isn't gay ok... Wtf?!?! Why did i mention gay? Haha.. Was just at this website about Hayden Christensen and some Blumas guy being GAY!!!! And that this guy was practically sleeping with every gay guy in the whole universe... Wtf.. It was realy traumatising.. I mean, exclude the fact that both of them were rather handsome... And Logen's idol is Aaron carter.. Yah! He had a "lil fun" with him too! Aaron carter!! Can you fucking believe this man?? And he was using the word GAY profusely like it was so friggin cool... Ahah.. Was funny though....

Hmm, so there has been endless replays of the Miss Universe 2005.. and i seriously think the Miss dominica repulic or something like that look alot like Jennifer garner... Reminds me of ALIAS.. Which by the way i have been watching cos there's this kinda cute guy in there... Boston public too.... Kinda cool... All the stupid sex affairs and blah blah blah.. Makes you think " how long can i remain a virgin when i go to america?" Hahaha..... Loser-fied!!!!

Okays.. Im getting a lil out of hand right now.. So gotta chill.. and i intend to do that by taking a loooong hot shower.. And then ill decide what to do after that.. Bye!
Monday, June 13, 2005

Okays......... Life's so bored right now... I actually have lotsa shit to do but im not doing 'em.. Got my chemistry hw to do.. and some piece of physics worksheet that i dun fucking have.. And that mother kuku chinese worksheet.. Damn!!! I think chemistry got alot to do.. I see Cindy send me the message with the hw details make my eyes pop out.. Oh yah!! Got english tys also.. Kanina!!!! Fuck school lah.. Why do they call it a holiday anyway? So that we can sit back on our chair... and do homework ISIT!?!??!?!? Bloody hell... Stupid school.. Hate my school like fuck but dunno why i still miss it... Ass.... Contradiction....

Hmmm, nothing much actually... Have been writing poems for me dad these past few days.. Maybe.. MAYBE gonna pick out some to give him for father's day... And then save some for his birthday.... So screwed.. All my poems suck!! Can't come out with a good one that i like.. Ass.... Been trying to come out with a nice love poem also.. But got no inspiration.. Yah.. not like in the past.. Ahahahaha... joking joking...

Well, ill end this post by teeling you guys... I MISS YOU!!! Yah.. Miss ya'all so damn much.. Wish to see ya'all again soon.. tatas!
Sunday, June 12, 2005

Just finished my absolutely-slack-for-the-whole-freaking-day ritual... And i've decided to use the comp to release some boredom. Well, watched TANK GIRL on channel 5 just now. I watched that show first when i was 6 or 7. Then i've been watching it on and off for 3/4 years until the tape went missing. And after 8 or 9 years here i am sitting on my fat ass watching that same cool show i've watched since young and just to let you know.. The show totally rocks!!! I kinda wanna be that girl.. I mean, besides me wanting to be mrs smith in the movie Mr&mrs smith... Woooo! I just LOVE female leads that rocks the whole show. They motivate me... Muakakakak.....

So my whole family's out.. Left me all alone at home... I can totally walk around naked unless there's a pervert watching me from opposite my house. Hahah.. Dunno how my brother can stand walking around the house naked when nobody's home.. ahaha.. How would i know my brother does that???? Whoa.... YOU dun wanna noe.... HAhahaha... Okays.. Enough of the crap... Let's get down to business....

I have tons of unfinished business to do.. Perhaps washing my already BLACK school shoe can help "brighten" up my day a lil'... Or doing my stupid mother tongue homework which i think i lost.... Hmmmm? Or maybe i can totally go back to praying... Yah.. Pray to da slackers god... It's wat i do for a living.. The slackers god adores me!!! Im his disciple by the way.... Ahahahha.. oh shit.. Forgot.... suppose to be serious.. Ok.. Serious.....

Hmmmmm.................. *think for about 2 minutes 45 seconds and 2 milliseconds* I can't!! I absolutely CAN'T get serious.. Damn.. Im too hyper.... Oooooh!! My daddy's home with my tv remote control.. Muahaha.. Ciao! Love ya babehs! Love love love all da way babes!
Friday, June 10, 2005

Well, suppose to go slp now but since im online might as well get blogging over and done with... Okays, Today i spent most of the time with Logen and Stacy.. We watched Mr & mrs Smith.. Its a really nice show i must say.. It's a must watch! I love it, personally.. Pretty damn cool... After the movie, stacy headed home and me and Logen when window shopping for awhile and then we headed for home as well... Tiring i can say...

Oh! No! I didn't go home straight.. Went to visit my grandpa in the hospital... Ahah.. Then when my dad came to fetch me with my whole family. I lost my way in TTSH. My brother had to come look for me. Cos we were at the wrong taxi stand. ahaha... Funny...

Okays.. So for the whole day, HE* have been pretty quiet.. No idea why.. I reckon its cos he's seen this blog already and found out that im crazy over him. Ahaha.. Good.. Haha.. Dunno what else to say... I've been pretty loyal to my written diary this few nights. Been writing it every night no matter what. I guess its just A LIL' more convenient than a blog. Cos my comp is feeling pretty rebelious these days and refuses to work properly sometimes.

Hmmm, what else? Life's pretty boring w/o school i must add. I mean, i admit.. I hate school. But it's kinda like the activity that makes boredom a less painful experience. I miss Ais, Yeni, and everyone i hold so dear to my heart. Yupps. Especially him yea? But who cares. Gonna pull it thru.. And i gotta fucking find out wat english hw there is and any other whatsoever hw.. And i also gotta wash my shoe.. Well, seems like the rest of the holidays is not gonna be so boring yea? Ahaha.. Okays.. Bye! Love ya'all! muacks muacks!
Thursday, June 09, 2005

Hello!!!! Went to school LATE today.... So pissed at myself.. Today was a pretty unlucky day... Chiong all the way to school.. Found out my hp no battery... So must off it.. Felt so empty with my hp dead... ahahah...

Having so much fun bullying that ass now on msn.... Realise i feel happier when i chat with him on msn... Cos i can bully him on msn.. and everytime sms HE will bully me.. Wtf.... So, went to Plaza singapura with solihin and jassika.. Pretty ok.. nth much... Just shop around.. tease 'em a little.. laugh alot.. Then home.... Bought a book for my dad for father's day in times... Tiltled "100 resons youre a perfect dad" or something lidat.. pretty cool...

Im really bored now though... Haha.. Going out with stacy and logen and maybe ais tmr... So excited.. Most prolly gonna watch a movie or something... Hehe... nice.... Miss stacy and ais and logen and yeni and everyone sooo much.. dunno why.. hahaha.. Bored.. Bye!
Sunday, June 05, 2005

This is killing me.......... I dunno where i screwed up or what the hell is happening.. I dun wanna be pulled in and then pushed out everytime.. Its killing me.. I mean, i love him and all.. But whatever Yeni says keeps popping up in my mind.. I have NO idea what the fuck is going on..... I wish to know.. I know there is NO way he'll feel the same way i do... But dude!! AT least let me noe lah.. Gimme a hint and let me give up entirely.. So it wun hurt this much...

Well, he needs to preserve his phone money so we wun be talking.. I think i know who he is saving that money for... Ahahaha.. Coooooool. (NOT!) Haha... No idea wat im talking about... He has caused permanent damage to my mini sized brain.... Fuck.. So gotta get back my original brain.. Is there any equipment that can brain wash me?!?!?!? I need it, like soooooo badly now....

Ok.. I miss all my friends already.. Yeni's still in malaysia.. ais just WENT to Malaysia... Dunno where's Logen, sookie or stacy or whoever... Im really bored.. And DADA* also not talking to me... I have only VH to talk to on msn now.. And im still feeling rather bored out of muh wits.. Shithole....

Nvm... Im gonna blog all the way til i die.. Eh.. Wait! I died on the day i fell in love with DADA* yupps.... No.. Not on the day i loved him... On the day he told me he didn't love me... Muahahahaha... That's so freaking cool.... I totally love myself.. Im dead?? Can you believe it? I never knew... Ahahahah. Bleah~ Bye people! Make the best of your life cos if you end up like me... Al you get is a membership card to join da DEAD! Love ya! Muackza!!!
Saturday, June 04, 2005

Guess im kinda losing faith.. Maybe im giving up.. Maybe its cos i keep screwing up... Damn.. And it all comes down to one guy.... DADA*... Fuck... Why cant it come out the way i want it to be? For once in years!!! pls! Why cant i get the guy i want.... Damn.... It's kinda tiring though.... Yah.. And i heard stuff bout him and all.... Damn.. Devastating stuff.... Im bored....

Haha.. Just came back from PS... Ate cafe cartel, and let me tell you, the serving there is SUPER huge!!! I couldn't finish HALF my food.... WTH right? Ahaha... I also realise how long i haven't been into an arcade and play some games... Rmb those times in primary school where the arcade was my second home.. Damn! Ahahah.. Who cares, it ain't muh kinda thing now....

Listening to radio right now.. Perfect 10.... Green day-Holiday.. Not bad.. I kinda like it... My dad's in malaysia.. Somewhere scuba diving i guess.... I wish i had a license then i could have gone with him and we would have done some scuba diving... Then i wouldn't be spending all this shitty hours alone thinking about HIM* and trying to FORGET HIM*.. KNN... Im so gonna get a scuba diving license soon... I AM!!! And i want a freaking car license too... Taking the bus and walking is frigging pissing me off bigg time... Especially when Bryan keeps crying and wanting people to carry him... Bleah~

Im feeling some inspiration to write a song.. Would probably try out laters... I ALWAYS got inspiration then write... Write write write halfway inspiration fade away then cannot write anymore... ALWAYS leh... Damn sian... I hope i can finish at least ONE song.... Ahaha.... Great... Listening to GOING CRAZY by Natalie.... PERFECT song!!!!! Perfect song for me to think about that guy.. Ass... Yeah.. Screwed!!!!!! Adios amigos!
Thursday, June 02, 2005

Well, talked to Logen on da phone til 1 am last night.. Was pretty fun lah... Realise i very long never sleep late already since Bryan start sleeping in my room... I guess that added to the fun last night.. ahaha.... It was really fun.. Never tot a phone conversation would be so fun.... But in the midst of our talk, SOMEONE have to come interrupt and spoil my concentration in talking with Logen. But luckily, i managed to maintain composure and forget about his stupid act. Ahaha...

So, nothing much really... Going for some English shit laters... Its so gonna be boring. Yeni, Cindy and i think Jas also not going.. Alamak.. Nvm.. Lucky got logen and Ais.... Muahahaha... Im gonna bring my digital cam... Just in case i get bored and wanna snap a few shots of yours truly!!! Hahaha..... I hope i remember to bring it though.... ahaha... Oh shit!! Dammit!!! My cramps are killing me... I feel like a dead person.. With cramps and flu and a sore throat.. Damn! Im gonna get sick soon... VERY soon...

Oh yeah.. Guess what? I dreamt about Tom cruise last night.. What a nice dream... Ahaha... Was super cool.. He looked soooooo handsome and charming and all.. And scene was at da beach somemore.. Whoa... I tell you.. Tom cruise gonna be on my *cute guy on tv* list..... I mean, HE IS ONE MY LIST ALREADY!!!!! Muahahaha..... Im so horny.. Im a horny bit-ach.... chill....

Okays.. Tatas kiddos!
Wednesday, June 01, 2005

You know what i just realised? I realise how not up-to-date i am with the world around me.. It seems i have been so engrossed in my own life that i have kinda neglected my other friends.. I was just browsing thru blogs and all, and i realise.. "WHO DA HELL ARE THIS PEOPLE???" I mean, i used to know them, talk to them, joke with them, and now?? Now all i am to them is.... just a schoolmate??? I mean, wat the hell? This shouldn't be happening.... I mean, especially the e2 people.. Damn!!! Im starting to hate myself..... Im sooo gonna call sookie later.... Talk to her if she's free......

Okays... So, today was spent with Bryan for the WHOLE day.. I cooked, played with him a lil.. And SCOLDED him ALOT!!! I tell you, i dunno how im gonna cope with my own kids in future.. Looking after Bryan one whole day is tiring enough.. You give a next half a life to look after a kid?? Man! Im gonna die earlier than im supposed to die.... Wa lau.. Sian.... So i cooked lunch for Wilson, Clarissa, Bryan and myself.... Nothing fancy.. chicken wings and vegetables and eggs... With rice..... Im too tired to cook anything else... Haha....

So, i realise being so in love with DADA* ain't gonna get me no where.. So i have decided ill spend most of my time with my family and friends.... Especially those i have not been talking to for so long..Like 2e2 people.... Hmmm, Stacy, Sook han, hui Ping, Chen xia, Yvonne, Joyce, Hui min And all... And of cos!!! Ais, Logen and all... Yepp yepps.... Okay... So ill start right now by calling sookie... Bye!