This is me. Call me CRAZY.

I was doing good...
I was happy and all hyped up for Christmas last night.
I was all crazy about christmas.
Thne today happened.
Work happened.
And sucked out all the happy in me.
WHAT in the HELL is a festive season?
When everyone else gets half day off and you get a QUARTER day off.
What's the fucking difference?
I stay in TPY. I work in Jurong. =(
By the time i reach home everyone's snuggling up to their loved ones saying

MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS. =D

I hate this.
I wanna leave everything and leave... =(

Sucks... But yeah. Im trying hard to be happy.
HARD!! Like real HARD!
Cos im gonna try to be a great host to tomorrows party.
And this requires some planning.
And this requires spirit and motivation.
Which i feel the minute spent in the office i sucking everything out.

DAMMIT!
Hatyai is still not out of my mind...
And I still cant get over how awesome spending time away from Singapore is...
I wanna fly away.
I wanna be a bird.
I wanna be a fucking bird that migrates all the time.
To better greens when winter comes.
I wanna FLYYYYYY.....

Fuck work. 3PM knock off...
SUCKS!!!

I need to get this poison out of me...
This poison that getting me addicted to the fun i had in Hatyai.
I need to stop thinking about Hatyai.
I cant eat with out thinking about Hatyai.
I cant sleep without thinking about Hatyai.
I cant work without wishing i was in Hatyai.
I've been poisoned by Hatyai.
I just feel like taking the next flight back there and stay there.
For as long as i want to.

This sucks.. I dont wanna talk about it.
Cos talking about it makes me miss it.
Missing it makes me feel foolish.
Feeling foolish makes me sad.

So anyway. What Sam said is true.
You might not forget them.
But they'll forget you.
So you know what?
Im gonna try hard to forget them.
Like as if Hatyai was just another trip.
Im awesome. I can do better. =)
Right?

So apart from that...
Life's been boring.
Planned a christmas party at home this weekend.
But somehow i have this feeling its not gonna be how i wish it was.
So im lowering my expectations.
Im just happy if i can have all my family together and just chill out at home.
Talk cock sing song play mahjong... =)

Well today im determined to get Hatyai out of my head.
And to live my Singapore life.
My lousy lonely stupid fucked up singapore life.

Hmmm, i realise.
This feelings i have.
Have a very big possibility that it is exaggerated because!!!
Because i dont have someone special.
Someone here that keeps me grounded and makes every other country with/without him seems unimportant.
I want a boyfriend. Why boyfriend? I think i dont really like girls anymore.
Thanks to the office environment where i am surrounded by women everywhere.
I realise. There's not much to them.
Just.. Nice to look at...

think my sexuality is changing..
Lol. Maybe temporarily. Maybe forever.
But who knows.
Who cares.
I need to find a boyfriend now... LIKE NOW~~
And i dont wanna do it via facebook and stuff cos its lame.
To get to know people from facebook and media stuff.

SUCKsssss... Work starts... =(
I hate this.. I dont like where i am now..
Other than the part that i might leave my family,
I wish i was somewhere else...

I wanna migrate..
Fly far away...
Become a totally new person..
Im sick of feeling fucked up in Singapore...
I wanna be fucked up somewhere else.. =(