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mandy-low @blogspot.com ♥
Thursday, September 24, 2009

ALREADY GONE - KELLY CLARKSON

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road. Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so
I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry
Started with a perfect kiss then
we could feel the poison set in

Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so,
I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so
I'm already gone

You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so
I'm already gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go

And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so
I'm already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some how this song brings out quite a bit of an emotion in me... I tried so hard. to try to fix the things that i broke. im willing to face the music. to fight. to go all the way. i gave up and that was me being weak. I know i was at fault. but now im gonna give it my all. And you tell me you don't know.... Great.....

I never felt like this before... nobody would believe me. i know. but i want you in my future. i want you there, at my wedding. beside me. Its so stupid now when i say it because the picture suddenly looks so blur...
Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Everything has changed. I have changed you have changed, the situation has changed. And those changes aint doing anything good for us. So it's over. And this time, we both know that it's for real. It sucks that all the big plans we have for the future gets ruinned by ourselves. We lost it.

I don't even know where to start. My anger, your not-so-smart actions and decisions and all those fucked up things that happen. Where do i even start to fix things? Without hesitation or doubt i would say you're the one, partner in crime, i wanna see myself with when im old and dying. But now when i say that it just sounds stupid. Bcos then, i become the weak, "where is the old mandy we know", person. And i just hear words of encouragement from people asking me to get over it.

I got away from this and decided to let go bcos i didnt want to hurt you anymore with my frutration and anger. But to you, im just a heartless, selfish and someone who doesnt care about you. If i had a choice i wouldnt wanna break up. But you cant chg for me. And i cant chg for you. And to me, i feel you have chged enough. But im the one who cant. So to me, being selfish would mean letting my anger go further than it should.

Why cant anyone understand that? Only those who have been through the anger i have with their love ones, will believe that im doing this, for his own good. If i could get away with my anger, why would i wanna let you go? Bcos i see the damage its doing to you and i cant stand me treating you that way. We've pushed it away for far too long. They ask if maybe it's that i dun have the patience to fight it along with him. The problem is that you're the fuel to my anger. And i dun have the patience, to see you hurt bcos of me.

Maybe you think im putting myself to be nobler than i really am. Im not. Im just as useless as how i always shout it out. I cant even control my anger and give in during small trivia matters. I put all the blame to you and i make you suffer to satisfy my anger. I see the worse and the best come out in me when im with you. The good times were great. But the bad times showed me that you deserve better than that. So it's time i let go. And i dun wanna use the word, but "finally" you realise that you cant be with me anymore. You always say no matter what. "No matter what" never applies to love. Not now anyway.

Bottomline, its hard being alone now. Things feel half empty. Not the same anymore. Urrrggghhhh.... Not in the mood to blog anymore.