If there is a limitto frustration i think i just topped that. WHAT THE FUCK.
CB. Life's a fucktard. Knn. And curiosity's a bitch. I shouldnt have explored. I shouldnt have been curious....
NABEI. BUT THAT FUCKER ACT NOBLE ALL SIA... Wah Cb kia... HONG KAN.
Never knew you were a fucking hypocrite sia. fucking fucked up piece of fucking fucked up shit...
Can be so nice to a friend.. Cant be nicer to me... Not even a tad bit nicer... CCB. TRY YOUR LJ.. The next time someone says they're trying... TRY TO FUCKING SUCK YOUR DICK LAH. If cannot then try harder.. If can then try to fuck yourself. TRY LJ. PBK.
hate you matha fucking useless dumbshit. act all noble and stuff. CTB.
FML.
Just when i thought i can stand up again my curiosity gets the better of me.. Thats why i say im better off dead... DEAD i say!!! DIE MATHA FUCKA DIE.....
ANW. Got a job. Yea fuck.
Oh and cut my hair. short again. Gonna be butch now go for hott girls. Fuck you guys dun deserve shit from hott girls. Go grab trannies bitches.
RANDOM SHITS
FOUND a JOB I
KINDA LIKE and I'LL be TAKING up the OFFER...
Still the same old pathetic failure full of sorrows and sadness pretentious lil fucker...
TRYING and TRYING but nothing seems to be WORKING....
LOSING my courage, faith, hope, energy, motivation, fighting spirit, meaning and reasons to live.... LOSING it all...
seems to be going CRAZY....
KNOW that love is all around me. But i just cant seem to feel it anymore...
LIKE someone
took MY HEART away...
Im all screwed up inside and outside and im losing control of my sanity....
If i get the job i want, ill be working at JURONG. Waaaaaaa... FAR.
DID i mention im screwing everything up and NOTHING i do GETS me ANYWHERE!!!!
Im a loser... I fail so many people... Thought i was
strong enough...
IM SORRY to those who love me...
SORRY MI.. SORRY PA... .SORRY KOR... SORRY BRYAN... SORRY MA... SORRY YE... SORRY ALLEN... SORRY YENI... SORRY FATEHA.. SORRY AZIM... SORRY DANNY... SORRY ISK.... SORRY HARRIS... SORRY TK... SORRY LOGEN... SORRY AIS.... SORRY CINDY.... SORRY CLAR... SORRY TO THE REST OF MY FAMILY.... AND SORRY TO THE REST OF MY FRIENDS....
I DONT KNOW HOW TO PICK MYSELF UP... YAH IM WEAK... NOT AS YOU THOUGHT I WAS.... IM WEAKER THAN YOU ALL THINK....
SO GUESS WHO'S BACK IN TOWN?
Ipoh trip was alright. Not DAMN FUCKING AWESOME, but not DAMN FUCKING BAD either. I enjoyed the alcohol and the company. I enjoyed meeting new people and joking around. But seemed like there wasnt anything much to do except drink and eat. Maybe i just havent gotten used to living like this. But yea. So i guess that sums it up. Nothing much to talk about unless you want me to elaborate on the alcohol intakes.
I HAVE TO THANK THE NEW AND OLD FRIENDS OF IPOH FOR BEING SO WELCOMING AND VERY VERY FRIENDLY TO ME... =) HERE GOES THE LIST!!
SAM, JACK, "FRANCOIS" DONG, AH SHUN, CARINE, LILY, AH CUI, KOK CHING, SIN KAH, MAMA, AUNTIE, UNCLE, GU-PO, SOK-GONG, POPO, AH WAI, AH YAN, AH MUN, CHENG CHENG AND MANY MORE!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SO, im back here in my homeland. Unable to sleep without alcohol. Having a very bad bad gastric and i keep worrying about something. Keep on worrying about it till i cant sleep til somethings done about it. Im getting all paranoid and i think a few more days and i might just explode and die.
So 12th MAY. Graduation day. Sian.... Signed up already but still wondering if i should go... Should dwell further. Im not in the modd to make decisions like this now. Not in the right state of mind. Im sleeping with pictures for christ sake. And today i found myself talking to myself out loud.. If i dont die of stomach cancer i might die of insanity.
I NEED TO FIND A FUCKING JOB. Im broke. FUCKING BROKE and im not hiding any secret savings or anything cos ive used up everything. Such a fucking failure. Im a loser. I cant see it any other way. Im starting to think im not cut out for sales. Im starting to doubt everything about me. I dont even think i can pass the power boat license. I dont think ill find a good job. i dont think i can do good anywhere at any time..
Fuck faith cos it comes and goes... =(
I want to start writing letters soon... I really do.. I need to build up the courage ...
