I want to go home... i don't want to do hwatever it is to do today.... I want.... to... be... a housewife.... in a rich family.... i want to be.. a tai tai.... I don't want, to fucking... study... at all!!! Ccb.... school sucks.... Im so fucking bored.... And im crapping with Cindy over Msn. So funny... she's going to open up a psychology clinic.. to cure mental patients like me. And i get treatment for free. and im gonna open a bar.. i dunno why a bar, but she said a bar.. so a bar lor... and she gets to drink for free... I dunno if i wanna trust a psychologist to cure me when she's drinking for free at my bar.... Maybe she'll prescribe me the worng medicine... Haha... like as if im not crazy enough already... lol...

So bored... im tired.... =(

Wow its been so long.... Just decided to blog since im bored in class.... Vignesh went for a talk... And i don't really feel like doing anything in class.. calculations again... i have to live with this for another year. I think i'd rather slit my wrists and die.. School's a bore... I dread it every single day now. Not one day i feel its worth it to go to school.. Not even for lunches with friends or whatever now... School sucks, so does my life (out of home)... sort of..... where'd all muh frens go man...?

Yeah.. so this is it.... nothing to update. because nothing happened.... I just viewed a girl's profile on friendster. She's sooo pweeeeeetty man... and im glad my friend's dating her... she looks, well, flawless.... the kind of flawless i wish i could be.... So she's nice, pretty, sweet, adorable, talented, rich and everything nice.... I think i envy her... i think.... although i know i must be grateful, i think i wish im not who i am..... and i think im being stupid again.... ever had moments like this?? =(

As much as Allen dreads work. I drean both work and school.... My life is filled with things i wish i didnt have... and i think i only have myself to blame... another plus to the "you-suck" list....

We pulled through his in camp reservice. We pulled through without anything more thann a little bickering... Im so happy i didnt do anything wrong this time. But according to him i should learn how to look after myself better without him.... being dependent on your boyf is apparently not healthy and is discouraged..... So i am determined to prove to him that i can survive 6 days when he's in SABAH, for his fishing trip.... So yes....

OH YAH!!! I went fishing two days ago. at night. Spent the whole night with Allen and his friends, Deshun and Kok Hong.. Fishing.... We caught out first fish together. A groupa..? i think thats how you spell it. Then the rest of the night was just irrtating cat fishes.. I dunno why they always give a irritated face when they see that their catch is a catfish. So i presume maybe catching a catfish is a sucky catch. So yeah. He thinks i hate fishing and kept asking me constantly if im bored. which made me bored because he didnt have anything new to ask me. But it was nice because he talked to me... he was the one that was talking most of the time. telling me stories of how he used to go fishing all the time and all the stories.. And telling me about his friends. although there were moments i wanted to tell him i didnt care about his friend's stories, i think i wanted him to keep talking so i didnt stop him... It was good hearning him talk taolk and not just talk... My baby doesnt talk much.... =) but im happy with it. Cos at least he listens, more than 3/4 the time.. hahahaha....

So its been about 7 weeks since i last saw my grandma. i miss her terribly. and there's some politics about it that just bothers me. If only she can answer the questions i have in my head. She loves me more? if not why? if yees how come? Just to prove to my auntie, that im right.... She loves me more... she dotes on me.... And that made me happy knowing im the one she dotes on most. And that made being the only girl worth all the bullying by my brother and cousin.

So random, a tad bit emo today because im sick of school. i cant take schooling anymore i wish i can quit school without any consequences... but ill be disappointing a whole lot of people then... and i dun want that... Hwo do i pull thru another year plus?? torture i tell you.. torture.... guess im off to slp now. bye