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Monday, November 28, 2005

Urgh.. Shit.. Shhit happens.. Just finished my bloody work last night.. Got screwed over by lotsa stuff... Now im so freaking tired... Effening... Nvm...

My Yeye is in the hospital again.. And im hating it bcos he went in on his bloody birthday!!! Effing shit right? And not only was i unable to celebrate his bdae with him.. I cant even accompany him to the hospital and i didn't even noe until later that night after work... And i didn't get a chance to go visit him.. I am soooo on the road to TTSH today, i swear!!! I can't go thru the same shit again man.. Im too fragile now...

Sigh... Lets put that aside for now.. Well, work sucks... Dun think im gonna get much commission.. Cos the sick commission is well? Bloody sick.. 2 dollars for a bloody thousand over product... We're soooo being ripped off by the company.. Commission effing low like shit faced... And i didn't sell much cos i didn't have the mood.. Just too many shit happening right now at the same time..

Hmmmm.... Yeah.. I had the weirdest dream last night but i rather not talk about it... Way weird.. Some Mrt roller coaster and me feeling rather freaked out and i was frenching some guy???? Huh? Doesn't make sense to me at all... Haha... And i just realise i cooked maggie and i havent eat it yet.. Bryan's rushing me to eat it.. That small boy is like a mother man.. OLD MAN!!! So naggy... And lor saw!! "Jie! Why you haven't eat your maggie?!?!?!" "JIE! Go eat your noodles if not cold alr not nice..." Haha... Like my mother like that...

Shit.. I forgot bout Cindy's birthday.. Im so sry babe.. Seriously.. I was working and all.. Dammit.. Im effing sorry!!! I feel effing bad now.. Serious... Im sorry... I'll make it up to you alright? But for now... HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!!! I love you babe.. Where would i be in class w/o you??? I would be walking home w/o even thinking that chemistry lesson's going on... Haha... Really....

Sigh.. I'll blog again another time perhaps.. My minds a little screwed up... And i need to look after Bryan.. So gtg.. Ciao.. Take care pple..
Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Hey all.. I'll be starting work for four continuous days starting from tmr.. Do come visit and if anyone wants to buy O2 PDA phones.. Come come come!!! Pls buy from me!!! Promise excellent service and i wun blame you if you make me talk a whole piece of junk but not buy in the end.. Just pls!1 At least come to boost my confidence a little cos selling such expensive stuff isn't really easy.. =) Well, i hope it works out..

Anyways, lotsa funny and interesting but at the same time very vexing things happened within these past few days.. Lotsa shit and some nice little fantasy but mostly shit lah.. Haha.. My mind's about THIS close to exploding... My ass is so close to being KICKED by all the shit that happening... And im on the way to the destination called death.. That ain't really a bad thing noe.. I'd rather die than go thru all this shit all over again.. Trust me... Fucking stupid.. Sry moufie. I NEED to express this with a vulgarity..

Hmmmm, yeah.. I WANT SKY HIGH SO BAD NOW!! PLS!! TELL ME HE LIKES ME AND TELL ME HE'S GONNA ASK ME OUT!! Sigh... Nvm... I need to speed things up a little when coming to SKY HIGH man.. Seriously cos i dun have much time.. Before i do something i regret.. SKY HIGH!! Pls tell me how you bloody feel about me you freaking hott number one!! Urgh....

Ass faced... I gtg.. Bryan's bugging me..
Saturday, November 19, 2005

Wow... These past couple of weeks have been helluva ride.. Number one to da max!! Nobody can beat that man.. Serious... And today i found out so many things that perhaps i shouldn't... Yupps.. I found out alot of things.. But im glad i got to know of them from someone then to find out myself...

And im very very proud of myself.. Im surprised.. Cos i've just been screwed bigg time.. Fooled like dumb piece of shit... Fooled by someone i once love.. Its difficult to know.. But somehow it doesn't hurt so much now.. And im proud of myself bcos im surprised i didn't do anything bad about it... The old mandy would've walked up to that person and start a war... Or at least scold the shit out of him/her... But this mandy i noe now is stepping back and thinking twice... I guess maybe its bcos there's way too much at stake.. And that if i really pursue the matter alot of pple will get hurt including me... But still it bothers me alil knowing how the person manage to fool me round and round... To that person i just wanna say thanks for playing the game and showing me how crule this game can get... I truly learnt alot from you... And it showed me how mature i can handle a situation even if it hurts like fuck....

I'd love to just forgive and forget.. But for now forgiving's easy... Just that forgetting is rather difficult... I shall learn... Mandy's gonna turn this around... Well, it was an experience, and i should make it an educational one.... But shit... Why when im so close to leaving the matter behind, his/her stupidity make it difficult... Yes.. That kukku head HAD to do something stupid.. But oh wells, i guess things will work out eventually... Somehow after the emo trip yesterday... I learn like what krush say "to live for the moment".. Be it the matter's big small important or useless... I am grateful i have the things i have... And as things come and go... I give and take... And i learn and live.... =) I'll move on... I AM moving on... Yes..

I wanna thank the pple that stand by my side thru out all the shit.. They didn't have to.. But they did... Thats the difference... They had a choice.. Leave me to die or help me get out of the darkness... And for some, they moved on w/o me, and w/o turning back... But its thru them that i learn who i can trust... And krush... You're it... Same goes for all my VGs member.. And my few ex-best friends... Not forgetting my family members... Like my brother and his gf... Its thru them tat i learn many things.. And its from their concern that made me strong... Especially my mummy, she's been there for me every second she could... I love her alooooot!!! My mummy beats up every single important thing in my heart... She cream them hardcore.. Cos she's the biggest chunk of my heart next to my daddy... THEY are my one true love... They are part of me... Friends and family... I cherish and treasure.... =)

Wooot!!! Im abit lazy now ah.. So yeah... I had fun today with a particular person i dun wish to blog about lah... Watched exorcism of emily rose... Ok lah.. A little boring sometimes... But alright... And im tired.. So goodnight.... Oh yah!! Im going interview tmr at sim lim.. My mummy going with me.. Hopefully i see teddy there.. Miss her so much... =) Can't wait to do some work and earn some KACHING!!!! $$$ Wooooo!! Money money money.... Weeeeeeee~
Friday, November 18, 2005

Today's not a good day for me to do anything that needs serious calmness and thinking... Morning wake up only soooo many freaking things bugging my mind like they wanna make a nest there and stay for life... Plus i had to wake up so god damn early... Shit.. Im not complaining man. I dun want someone to think that im complaining.. Ok? If you read this.. Try to understand. Im not tired of you, or anything to do with you. Alot of shit is happening in my life.. And nobody knows exactly how it feels. So i guess im kinda stressed too.. To that someone, Pls dun feel like you're a burden to us or whatever. I love you and i wanna learn to love you even more. If wanting doesn't help, at least i try.. And if trying doesn't mean anything.. I dunno what else does. Im sry...

Like i said, today's not a good day. Today's like the day where all my problems get to me.. I guess they've been put away for far too long. Now its time they launch an attack again huh? Damn.. Why now man, when i have so many things to solve.. Jus great.. It HAVE to be this period of time they choose to affect me... Ok.. Who they? The only they is me, myself and i... Its all me.. Always me me ME!!! Thks... thks me... Thks for being me...

But i fucking promise myself not to show my weak side anymore.. And it haven't even been a week since i made that silent promise, look how i can never keep a promise i made to myself? Urgh.. Im tired of promises, words words, they're all just words... Now i know.... You can never noe.. the one you think is the most ok can be the one that feels the most shit...

And Krush.. I know there's alot of things bothering you too.. I can feel it. I just never ask cos i noe you're not the kind that will tell... No matter how much i ask.. Or even if i cry... Krush... Pls dun.. You say live for the moment... But i have a feeling that for you, by doing that.. You're just putting everything aside. Yes, it helps.. But if one day it all comes back to you.. Ever wonder what will happen? You tell me not to think abt those stuff.. Its not so easy. Of all pple, you should understand... You're the one that go thru all the shit with me... And recently, we've kinda been on the rocks bcos there were alot of things bothering me, and perhaps the way i handle them is not something you see eye to eye with.. Is it normal for you now that we're having conflicts? Is it? Is it something that assures you now that its normal? I want you to noe, its NOT s'pose to be normal. Its s'pose to be SPECIAL! Thats why i cherish you like nobody else. I lose control of my feelings at times and you were there to keep me in check. And i have yet to give anything back in return. I noe you dun ask for anything back. But i WANT to give you something.. I want to be there for you when you fall... But right now you dun let me know even if you're falling.. I tell you before, im here for you to whine abt everything. Even uneccessary stuff for all that matters.. I just want you to know i love you. And i hope you love me back the way i do... Yes... I do.... =)

Moufie?? Pls try to understand k? Im not good wif words. At least not when it comes to you.. I dunno when ill touch that wrong part and i dun wanna hurt you. Maybe by stepping back its alr hurting in a different way. But i want you to know its not your fault. I know you're trying your best to accept things and try to chg what you dun like. So i respect that. And i understand... So if i ever do anything wrong that may affect your progress.. Im sry.. I didn't mean any harm and i dun wish to do any harm to you. We'll see how it goes as time passes ya? There's no guarantee for tmr.. But i noe for today i wanna keep on trying.. with you.. And perhaps we'll learn things and we never knew we will ever get to know... =) love ya..

Anarchy.. Life's tough. Especially when it comes to relationships. I understand. But i hope that you will understand sometimes pple take time to learn things. Its just the same. I know you dun wanna spoon feed.. Give time girl.. Give it some time.. Things MAY work out, or things may not.. But i hope you wun be hurt in anyway... Love ya.. Will be here for you always yah? =)

To the most special man in my life... I will never be where i am now w/o you.. Even the broken pieces of my heart look up to you... You were my hero once, still my hero now.. Im sry if i let you down so many times as i grow up.. And there were many times i hurt your feelings w/o realising it. No all this is so screwed that i dunno where else to go... W/o you my life's nth.. I never knew you felt that way until you told me.. And it speared me like a million knives.. I died the day you said we do not love and stand by you... Maybe its my fault. I haven been good.. I havent been doing my part. And i do so many things to hurt you.. So many things happened this past year... So many tears shed.. Those times i saw tears run down your face.. Was nth i can ever experience. The heart ache of not being able to do anything... I cannot bear to see our relationship turn sour like this.. Just bcos i havent been giving enough.. Just bcos i put my ego and pride in front.. And i refuse to do sweet things to show you i love you.. But i ope you understand.. Im not used to showing affection this way.. How can you say i dun stand by you? I am willing to die for you... Afterall, you're the one that gave me this life... What is god? YOU are my god.... And to think you said you were used to it alr.. That we do not love you... What is that? Have i really been that bad? Im sry.... Those words were enough to kill me... Pa... You killed me when you messaged those words to me after i sent you a msg saying i love you.... If you dun think that i love you.. I dun think i can ever learn how to love anyone anymore.. Your love is above all the rest.. I wanna turn back time.. Pa, i want those times where you used to hug me and carry me on your back.. And i wanna hold you hand and feel like everything's gonna be alright... Pa, I want to kiss you gdnite every nught before i go to bed.. I wanna say i love you without feeling awkward.. Pa, i want to be your baby girl again... I hope its not too late....

Fish man... I cant believe the tears im shedding right now.. Its wetting my whole shirt... Shit... Now i realise how dead i'd been since that incident.. Now i noe why i have been this way for so long... I've lost a big chunk of my life... When your family and loved onees tell you they think that you dun love them... It like they literally take your heart out and stomp on it before walking away and never turning back to see how broken up you are... To see that you're bleeding to death.. right there right then.. No one knows untill you're gone... And im currently fading away...

I just knowingly broke my promise.. I showed my weak side.. I teared.. I showed it to the air around me... And i narrated it to my blog readers... Pls.. Let me bury myself in shame... Let me feel the pain and let me die knowing im a weakling... Im not worth a cent... Es[ecially when it comes to my daddy... Sry pa.... I cant be that princess of yours.... Sry things dun turn out the way i wish it would.... IM SRY FOR THE WORLD!!!! And most importantly, im sry for myself..

I cannot stop typing.. Cos if i stop i know it means i will cry more. Bcos if i stop typing, Then there's really nth more im good at... So let me continue.. You can stop reading if you want... I gueess ill just type on...

I've never really done anything bad, have i...? Bad in a sense that i hurt pple ard me so bad that its irreversible... Am i not the person i think i am? I deserve this shit? Do i? Am i thinking right.. Or is something blinding my vision of the actual situation? I guess im just not mature and smart enough to understand and accept huh? Im way off track... Perhaps way off then i even think i am... Nobody knows how i lost track and nobody knows how to direct me back on the right track. They point, they try to make me understand, they shovem they push, they tell, they explain... So many pple ard with their own problems... The guy playing maple with you may have just lost a love one.. The guy sitting bside you on the nus may have troubles at work.. The old man talking to himself may be wondering why pple are looking at him.. The man on the news may be busy planning how to flee from the cops... The lady next door may have just gone thru a heart breaking divorce with a man who hits her... The little kid running around below may be thinking of how to tell his mummy that he failed his english exam.. And me? I have my own set of problems... And im losing it.. Yes again im losing it... I have the tendency of losing things huh? Maybe i dun try enough... Or mayb its just, well , not enough... Im never enough....

Eff man.. Number one painkiller for my damn stitches pain is the pain in my heart.. Number one distraction.. Yah. And now come to think of it, its starting to hurt again, my arm i mean... Oh right.. I forgot to take the painkillers.. Of cos.. Smart ass...

Yea.. Im calm now.. The tears have stop.. My mind's blank.. My heart and mind are fighting over who should be the one that go haywire first.. My heart's currently winning cos like i said, my mind's blank... So i guess ill just bury myself in the sudden hatred i have for myself.. Thank you.. Pls... Dun misinterpret this.. Im still that freaking hyper girl you see... Just that i have just realise i've been dead all along.. Pls.. Im still me... Ill stil live...

Today someone ask me if i wanted to die.. Bcos i was standing in the middle of the road. She meant it casually... I know... But i didn't answer... I couldn't answer... Do i want to die? Do i really? I dunno.... =) And today, just today, i lose all strength to fight back... So silent it shall be.. Silence is golden... Silence, is good.... =)
Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Fuck man... Just went for operation on my god damn elbow to get that so called cervatus cyst out or something. bloody fuck. now i cant move that arm cos it might split the stitches. one disadvantage of having a cyst there. fuck. not to mention the pain im going thru now bcos the fucking numbness has faded. I need to eat before i eat my painkillers. And how the fuck im s'pse to eat if i can cook maggie cos my god damn arm is useless, and painful. Shit... And the bloody surgery costed me 90 bucks. thks.. i am now officially the most unlucky 15 year old in the block... Fuck cysts. if i get one again, ill chop of that arm.. Bloody image of my skin flabbing away while the doc take out that "membrane" of tissues... Oh gawd.. sucks bigg time...

Nvm... Lets forget abt the pain fer awhile.. Yesterday, was er.... very experience gaining.. I went to jalan raya with the peeps.. Went to so many places. from morning til night and trust me my god damn heels was killing me. yah. I like, had to limp home due to my stupid heels. My soles are still hurting. Yah.. But it was fun... My first time celebrating hari raya? And i was glad Yeni and Jas was there to experience it with me.. Oh.. and i wore yellow!!!! yellow of all colour... and why isit yellow? Ask Solihin and Yeni and Jas.. They freaking Busted me cos guess who "coincidentally" wore matching colour as me? Urgh.... Nvm.. Its over.. and i cant believe i was so clueless and gullible. I was shocked speechless when i realised it was all an evil plan to get me and some guy together.. Yes, thk you very much for making me malu... BLEAH~

Well, not all of that was bad... I realise many things. I realised i loved the colour blue. And i like seeing malay guys wearing that cloth thing(forgot wat its called).. Sambing or something lidat... I realise im very awkward ard pple that im not familiar with.. and how i can like a guy jus cos he's cute and we made eye contact.. Yupps.. Let me die pls... =) He's just so god damn hott lah.. Sky high... SKY HIGH!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! fuck the thunders.. scared me half to death.. So bloody loud for who to hear sia... Nvm.. i think i abit pmsing now.. Plus my arm's hurting like nobody's business... And i have to go to my granny's hse later for dinner.. And im bloody hungry alr... Thks.. Ill go for now.. talk abt yesterday next time guess... Haven been posting long post for so long...
Saturday, November 12, 2005

Well today, i went out with my primary school mates.. Christina, Clarice and Pearline.. We went to Pasir Ris Escape Themepark... Was great fun.. Rode many rides that i've not ridden for years... Like the god damn panasonic ride which made me jump so high on my seat i was so freaked abt falling... And Go Cart.. The guy tried to confuse us by telling us the opposite of the pedals... But he was kinda cute so i forgive him.. Haha...

Damn.. Bryan wants to play the computer... So ciao... Another day guys...
Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Wow.. Today was great!!! Went out with Krush after A maths lesson... Woooo! Went to AMK library where i met her mummy.. And we explored the whole damn place... After we settle down to finish our maths paper.. And it was so fun wroking with her... Haha.. And i finished it.. Like duh~ Realise now that i cant work alone... =)

Then we talked and it was well, very very knowledgeable cos it made me have the courage to do something i haven't been able to do for a long time... Shan't elaborate.. But that thing?? It's bugging me bigg time... Then we headed to buy a tub of icecream and one whole darn packet of plastic spoons.. We walked to somewhere with shelter sat down and talked while we savour that lovely tub of icecream.. Coffee and almond fudge.. Both my favourites.. Who could resist??? Haha.. But it was sooooooo jerlat... Haha... We finished it though.. Probably bcos we were both under different kind of stress.. Weeeeee~

I love that small kecik i tell you.. She really give me strength and courage nobody else can give.. It's just her.. And she is able to tell if im sad or emotional even though she's like miles away in bishan or anywhere else in singapore... Its like there's a transmitter between us.. Only she can tell, y'know? She's kinda like my other half... Haha... Oi!!! Kecik!!! I love you... And get that damn thought stuck to your brain cos it ain't gonna change for a loooooooong looooooong loooong time... Woooohoooo! Get used to it! x)

It's nice to know that when you fall, someone's beside you falling with you.. And you both climb back up together... Stand up straight together.. Lift your heads up high once more and walk on... It makes the pain less... er...feel-able... Especially if its someone you truly love... Bcos then your pain doesn't really matter... Its her/him you're worried about... So its good to know i have Kecik there with me... So, I FEEEEEL GOOOD!!! Screw the tears man... Who gives a shit bout them now... Im over that phase... For now, lets move on...

And if there's anyone out there feeling a whole load of crap? Fuck it... Don't let it break you down man... Whatever it is, its losing the battle.. Cos you're gonna win that battle.. NO MATTER WHAT!!! And if you think nobody understands and no one can ever feel worse than you... ?? Think again sister/brother!!! Dun you even DARE think that way... Fuck there's pple out there w/o homes.. W/o their mummy and daddy.... W/o pple to even care for them directly... W/o food, medical help... It may not be the same cos you're in a total different situation.. But god dammit think!!! If you get pass this effed up shit, the only way you can go is up cos there's no more way down... =) And if nobody care... I care... Friends, call me if you cant think of anyone.. Be it 3am in the morn... You may not know, maybe i need someone too.... =)

Let's move on to a better start pple!! Lets get the fuckin ball rolling and lets put the poot in the toot!!! Haha... Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
Saturday, November 05, 2005

Wootsie daisies!!! Today is one of the best day ever!! I have lotsa fun with my family and all.. And there was quite a scary event that happened.. But its sooo cool today y'know why? My brother bought this 10 in 1 board game thing and we've been kinda playing with it ever since we got home... And i've been losing alot of money... Lol...

Hmmm, today i have fun.. And i hope for tmr i have more fun... It's been a long time since us family sit together and plyed a game... Well, my dad kinda skipped on it cos he's not feeling well... But it was aite... Dinner was nice too... No idea why i have stomach ache now though?

Oh yeah... And Bryan's been a really naughty boy today... Really really naughty.. Dunno how many times he pissed us all off.. Even my brother also caned him.... Fuiyoh.. I tell you he is one fat little cute devil ah... He can really piss us off at times.. But when he's all cute and lovely.. You canNOT resist his charm.... Weeeeeee~

Craig David's JUST DON'T LOVE YOU NO MORE(I'M SORRY) is kinda cool.. The tunes kinda catchy.. Sweet and not too slow.. Just what i need for the moment... Lol.. Bryan's trying to go to sleep now.. and i think we're going to play on later after he's asleep... But im kinda losing the kick... Moreover im losing like a whole piece of crap.. Haha...

Now i really think i need a new card... I mean an MMC card for my darn phone.. cos i have so many bloody songs to put in there and i realise i have gotten soooo much over my storage.. I still have many unloaded songs... Bleah~

I miss my VGs sooo much.. I wanna see them.. Urgh... I miss this special someone too... And i wanna see one hott guy... And i wanna do so many freaking things now.. But then if i do all of them now, they'll probably think im out of my mind.. Going around the whole of Singapore to see 'em just cos i miss 'em is not good enough a reason... Lol...

I bought new earrings for just 2 bucks.. How cool is that.. Clarissa bought one just like mine.. It looks good on her... Haha.. Plus with the Baju Kurung she's gonna wear tmr to visit her muslim friends, she looks gorgeous... Haha... Come to think of it, i feel like wearinga baju kurung to visit my friends house too.. But i dun have many places to go.. Just my VGs, kakak and someone i haven't think of yet.... Haha.... But still, i feel like wearing.. For the fun of it... Only time i wore one was during 2004 Racial harmony day i think... Urgh... Forget it... I cant stand not being able to walk up the stairs without freedom of movement... Haha.. But i still like baju kurung(s)...

Wooooooo!!! Im basically bored and high both at the same time... Please.. Save me from this wasted land....

I WANT YOU TO WANT ME!!
I NEED YOU TO NEED ME!!
I LOVE YOU TO LOVE ME!!
IM BEGGING YOU TO BEG ME!!! - The Donnas - I want you to want me

Wootsies... I gtg.. Bye!! I really got nth more to say anyways.. Toodly doodles!!!
Friday, November 04, 2005

Weeee baby weeeeee~ I'm high.. But actually im feeling kinda emo.. But still high... Nothing's gonna stop me now.... NOTHING!!! Ok.. Settle down mandy darling settle down.. OKAYS!

Well today went to school for some physics shit.. Was nice... No idea why.. Wooooooo! Somebody in my class looked super duper hott man... I was like "Whoa... Chill mandy chill!!!" My gawd!!! He really looked damn hott lah... Shit... Mandy's close to melting now.. Lol.... Dammit... *5 mins of yoga therapy*

Fuiyoh!! The real mandy's here.. Watsup?? Yeah.. Harris ask me go alif's house tmr.. I asked my Vgs and none of them seemed rather interested.. So ill guess we'll skip on that... So?? So my first freaking real visit to a malay house will be within the next two weeks where i will ambush SOME1's house.. Weeeeee-oooh! I wanna go her house, eat her kuih(s), take her money, and then teach her how to treat MANDY the great with love and respect.. Haha... Nah... I must respect her cos she is SOME1!!! That name, it just scares me!! *shivers* Haha.. Right.. If she read this she must be thinking "Wah.. Mandy's afraid of me.. Wooohooooo!" OH NO!! You're SOOOOOO Wrong!!! Mandy's afraid of NOBODY!!! Except maybe herself.. But who cares?? Some1!!!! You watch out!! I'm coming your way!!!

OK. Enough of my plans to spread the love of evil... Then after i ambush some1's house.. I can then move on to my loverly loverly VGs and let me tell you something KRUSH!!! I WANT RENDANG and you better give me rendang or ill.... ill do SOMETHING!!! Rendang rendang rendang!! I WANT!!!!! And i wanna thank Moufie and her mom for sponsoring me some traditional house kuih(s)... Ok.. I dunno what the traditional kuih is but oh wells, a kuih is a kuih.. Then i wanna shoutout to Anarchy "STOP GOING AROUND WITH SO MANY GOLD JEWELLERY!! IT"S SCARING THE HELL OUT OF ME, you gangsta girl!!" Haha... Nah.. She looked so cute today in her gold Blings.. Lol... Somemore collected so much alr... Make me yearn for CNY... Oooooh CNY Here i come!!! Yah right.. Later nobody give me angbao(s).. Haha..

Anyways, ill be gone on the 1st of december to the 3rd.. Ill be going with my mummy and her company to Bangkok.. But ill be paying myself whereas my mom's free... On the company i guess... My mom asked me to go so i said "OKAY!" Bangkok is sooo cool!!! I tell you its cool for shopping, food, and an experience of an experience.. Haha... Watever...

WTF??? My mom just came in and she asked me what i was doing and i said blgging.. Hopefully that doesn't interest her and she wun come and sneak into my blog.. Wah! If she does that im dead.. So i better shuddup fer now...

Woooooo! I miss Aryani!! I miss Fateha!! I miss Jassika!!! I miss blha~blah!! I miss him!! I miss her!! I miss them!! I miss everyone.. Hmmm ,must be syptoms of me getting really crazy.. Ciao!
Thursday, November 03, 2005

Oh eh-lows!! SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI to one and all!! Especially to my VGs and kakak and every other mly friends!!! Yupps.. May you guys be forgiven of all your misdeeds and have a happy raya!!! Weeeee~ And to all others too... Have a nice day....

Welps... That still doesn't mean im not gonna whine at my blog today... Haha.. Nah~ My parents are coming back tonight.. They're probably boarding the flight already... Wells, i was thinking of going to fetch them with my brother and clarissa.. But then if i go there wun be enough space in one taxi to come home.. Plus there's midnight charge so it'll be super expensive.. So ill just sacrifice and not go lor.. Wait at home for my folks to come home... =) Yupps...

Hmmm, i wonder when i can go attack my VGs house... And makan their their kuih(s)... Haha... And kakak ask me to ambush her house also.. So maybe i will!!! Haha... But i want the traditional RENDANG!! Ok.. It's not reallly traditional lah.. But its so yummy!!! I want rendang!!! *sob sob* But i heard rendang is usully only cooked on the first day... Ya lah!! If only my mommy never go HK.. Then we'll be at aunty azizah's house now eating RENDANG!!!! Haiz.. I want rendang!!!!! Bleah~

Oh wtv... Not like anyone cares... I've been eating eanough already... No need somemore rendang to boost my appetite... Urgh... Saddening.... Oh wells... Wat can i do.. Im mandy and mandy cant do no shit abt food... Except eat it!!! Weeee~ Haha...

I wanna thank my lovely Moufie for looking out for me... She dreamt of me... How ser-weet... And she was worried the dream was true.. So she sms-ed me... Im touched.. Thx moufie... Although i was kinda high when you sms-ed me.. I was glad you asked... Weeeeeeee~ I miss you!!

Fuck lah.. Some spoiler i rather not mentioned just spoiled my whole mood... Ass.. Just when i tot i could post ONE post without adding a little vulgarities... Idiot.. Why?? Why??? Mofo *tooooooot*... Urgh.. Good day to all... Adious!
Tuesday, November 01, 2005

THE MOFFATTS - I miss you like crazy

(chorus):
I miss you like crazy
Even More than words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day
I'm so down when your love's not around
I miss you, miss you, miss you
I miss you like crazy
You are all that I want
You are all that I need
Can't you see how I feel
Can't you see that my pain's so real

When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again

Stupid is as a stupid does.... Or somethin' lidat.. Haha.. Just started thinking bout Forrest gump... No idea why... Perhaps it reminds me of someone real special... =) We were s'pose to watch it.. Like i said, s'pose... Hehe...

I WANNA WATCH LONGEST YARD!!! Dammit.. I've had that bloody VCD there tempting me for so god damn long but i cant watch it.... It's a promise i made to myself... If i cant watch it with him.. I might as well not watch it myself... Urgh.. Dammit.. That's one bloody promise i have to keep.. To test my determination & all i guess.... Bleah~

Today's the most boring day ever!! Plus the fact that i woke up at 1pm doesn't help at all!!! I woke up.. Actually wanted to go down to TpC and have a big meal of Burger King.. But when i came to think of it, sitting down alone to eat in the god damn place will totally kill me!!! so i decided not to.. But i couldn't resist it.. The freakin voucher that was lying on the table was tempting the hell outta me..

I decided to call on my friends... I scrolled down my phone contacts.... Down and down it went.. It went thru my VGs bcos they are all fasting and NOT free... Went thru ALL the guys numbers bcos you can NEVER ask ANY guy out on a makan date unless you're treating.... Went thru all my family members number bcos its weird if i ask my cousin out on such notice eh? And i haven't met any distant relative for so long... They'll be thinking "What.. She needs money or something?".. Not that i ever ask money from anyone except my parents.... Nvm.. Then, it went thru all my other friends.... But somehow i didn't want to disturb them.. Or maybe i just wanted someone that can listen to all my sorrows without complaining...

T'was... I was left wondering who to call for 10 mins... And i gave up... So i settled for some sweets and TV... There were a few rather interesting shows going on.. Yah.. Not until they were all over and i was left again, to think of what to do... So i did a tad bit of screaming and shouting at the silent air in my room.... Then i on this bloody comp to use.... While i was waiting for it to load.. I went to cook PASTA!!!! And it turned out alright... So i makan... Then here i am... And its only 4 pm.. Maybe at 5.30 ill head over to my granny's place... They having a feast of prawns and crabs today.. Weeeeeee~ My favourite.. But we s'pose to pay 10 dollars each.. But usually i dun pay.. Cos the 10 bucks thing? It's usually to prevent us from eating too much.. In other words, its a joke that my aunt ALWAYS play on us...

Neah~ I'll just eat til i burst.... Oh my god!!! Who knew the moffatt's I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY could be so emotional.. Wow... Just listened to it on my winamp... Ser-WEET!!! Whoa... Im touched by that song.... Dammit.. Mandy's all emo-ed up again.. Blardy pootie face!!! Urgh.... It's okay.. She'll live.. She always will.... *sigh*

Now, what else can i say or do to past the time away quicker....??? I guess ill sing out loud.. Blast the bloody songs on my playlist and sing sing sing!!!! Weeeeeeeeeee~ Uncle Kracker's songs ain't bad eh??? The tune's quite catchy i must say.. Its been stuck in my head for the past couple of days.... Wooot~ 3 doors down also not bad... IF I COULD BE LIKE THAT!!! Weee-heeeee!!!

I wanna blog now, about my VGs... Hey girls.. If you read this... It's really wat i feel....
You guys, are a very big part of my life... Im serious... In school, there's really no one else i look forward to seeing every morning... And at night, there's no one else i'd rather sms... When im bored and wanna call, if i can't call any of you, i'd rather die in my boredom... I wanna pamper ALL of you.. Give you guys all that i have.. Share every lil' thing i have... Sometimes, things may get a little blurry... But then i know i have you guys there to catch me when i fall.... You guys are the next thing to my family... I cherish you like nothing else in the world... Kakak told me before... She say she can see us growing stronger and closer... I believe her... They may say why im the only chinese... But y'know? When im with ya'all, race doesn't matter... Or perhaps its bcos im not that cheena... I truly feel like we're a family... I wouldn't be surprise if 10 years down the road we're staying together.. That is to say if we're not married alr lah... =) I hope that whatever we've gone thru.. Will only make us stronger.. And i hope we learn more abt each other and learn to understand and appreciate each other... No matter what, i want you guys to know i love you alot... And pls.. Dun allow ANYTHING, anything at all to distort the wonderful image i have planted in my mind for our future... =) I love you guys... tons!!!

Yeah... Guys its true.. None of that was superficial... I swear... I know.. I said that swears mean nth... And crossing my heart means nth to me... But its true.. I dunno how to prove it... But if you wanna dig out muh damn heart to prove it.. I'll do it... Just to let you guys know i love you guys... +) Weeeeeeeeeeee~ now!! Lets all forget about emo-emo stuff and dance to the music!!! WOoooooo!

Love ya guys! Sry.. I'll go do some private disco-ing now.. Toodles!