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mandy-low @blogspot.com ♥
Sunday, February 28, 2010

I don't wanta broken heart....


I know that i love you...

But i dont wanna love you in no kind of way...

I hate you.

Will i still be there at the end of the day? =(


I havent been feeling very good lately. girls night out yesterday was fun. Was an emotional rollercoaster but it was good for me. Think ive been hanging around guys too much i dont realise whats becoming of me. I need to keep maintaining my "girl-ness" with my girl friends for as long and as much as possible. Before i totally become a MAN-dy...

Went Karaoke at Cash Studio. Was fun. took lotsa videos. I went crazy at some parts. After that it was home sweet home at my place where we read back our diary from secondary school and reminicse on the time we had when we were younger. Talked, smoked, chilled. I guess just a typical girl night out but im glad it was with Yeni and Fateha. Wouldnt choose anybody else to spend the night with. =)

My birthday is approaching. What should i do? What should i ask for?

Happiness... =( And to get the things in life that people fight so hard to get. Love from a man that works out til the end of time. To get a job that i like and likes me. To get my feelings reciprocated and understood. A slimming programme? Lol. Money? What should i ask for? Just wish... you knew....

I do not look forward to occasions now. Just... wanna avoid the attention. Just wanna run away from all the questions. Sometimes talking about it to the people i love doesnt help. just make s it known to them how confused i am and how i have no answers to any of the questions directed at my relationship with Allen. "I dont know him anymore." thats what ill say. Cos to me its true, do i know him in anyway now? No. I dont know hwat he wants, what he does and what he thinks. All i know is from where im standing. I see it all fade away bit by bit.

I cant believe you begged me to stay friends with you. And now this is what you do. Doesnt make any sense to me. You dont do what you say and you prove nothing. If this is your definition of staying friends and loving me and fighting for me, then i guess im better off dead.