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mandy-low @blogspot.com ♥
Monday, March 08, 2010

Got into a minor car accident. Dont wanna talk about it. Anyway main point is i feel like i never want to drive again.. =( SUCKS being me. I hate myself so bad now i wish the gastric ulcer will eat me alive from inside..... =(

On the other hand it seems possible. My tummy hasnt stopped aching since yesterday and i feel like im dying slowly. I try. I keep trying to eat on time but i cant. And even if i do, i vomit everything out almost immediately after i consume anything. Like today for example. I woke up at 7 plus to go to the insurance place to do a report with my dad. I crapped watery shit 4 times and still counting. I vomitted "lime juice tasting" puke even though i never eat or drink anything. Im guessing its gastric juice/acid or wtv crap it is. So yeah. It seems like my wish of dying from gastric may just come true.

I know all of you who read this and give a shit about me might think im silly, stupid or plain or fucked up-ly fucked up. But yeah. You're not me. =) So you'll never know how i feel. You can judge all you want.

Im in a fucked up mood today. Anyone that fucks with me will probably become my enemy today. But then today im having steamboat. So lets hope steamboat cheer me up. Have you ever tried steamboat using a rice cooker? Today ill try it. =) Ill let you know how it goes. Haha....

So once again my birthday is coming and on the 21st its "bring a guy we have never met before" day. So im bringing my friend Faizal. And i guess the rest of the girls will be bringing some other guys. Wonder how it'll turn out to be. Maybe itll be fun. But im guessing itll just be normal, a little awkward but just normal.

singlehood isnt fun when my mind keeps wanderinig back to thoughts of you and i.

I keep dreaming of dying these days. Maybe its a sign. Some people tell me dreaming of death means a change in your life. Maybe that change will be me dying. Wouldnt that just be great? But i promised a best friend of mine. If ever i wanted to die, i would ask her along. =) Still contemplating...

Ok. I know i say im trying to be happy here. But everytime i say that i end up doing the exact ooposite. SO yah.. Ill keep trying. CHEERIOS.