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mandy-low @blogspot.com ♥
Friday, August 06, 2010

Another Classic By Theresa Teng. Looked for it for so long. Forgot the title.The song talks about the kind of love that never change. The world may change and everything may pass quickly. But i only care about you. And in life, if i get to know myself through and through, losing the strength for life is worth it anyway . So please don't let me leave you. Except for you, I cant feel any love. If there is one day that you tell me you gotta go. I'll lose myself. I don't want any promises. I just want to be with you everyday. I cant continue to live with just memories.
 Shits stuff about love. Wish i had someone to sing such stuff to... =(  I want a partner, to spend wasted time with. To talk cock with, argue with, make up with after every fight, worry about, get paranoid over, and kinda just.. get to know each other.... But, I cant find any strength and passion in me to wanna do that. Kind of feel as if that passion and strength was taken away by someone. You all know who that someone is. I just wish i could take some back. I hate feeling lonely whenever i am...

But then again, even when i was in the relationship. I still felt lonely at times. There's something about me i cannot figure out. I feel lonely... All the time... Like even though i know there's so many people that loves me and cares. Even though i love my family and i know they love me too. I feel lonely. Even when i was in a relationship. At times i feel lonely. I feel like im an outcast. Like im weird. Like how is it that I can be part of anyone's life when i don't feel like anyone.


Ok fuck that. Screw those thoughts. I just watched Supersize Me. Maybe its fast food thats making me depressed. I feel the need to eat Nuggets from Mcdonalds now. Fuuuuuuuck... Supersize Me is suppose to make me NOT wanna eat Macs. Craaaaaap~!

Im gonna watch Inception now. Heard its a good show.

OH YEAH!! GUUUUUYYYYSSSS!!! GUESS WHAAAAT??? Guess what i did yesterday? I messaged Allen. How about that? It was a "Hi-How are you-Bye" kind of exchange. But well, the thought came to my mind, and i hesitated... And then i just DID IT. When he replied, I didnt know how to feel cos part of me(big part), predicted that he wouldnt even bother to reply. He did, but he stopped midway... Prolly cos yeah. It'll be weird how to end it off... Like "Oh ok. you take care yea. C you soon..." When we obviously know that if there's any chance we can DONT see each other... We'll take that chance.

Hmmm, Actually not really... I kinda really wanna see him. Like hows he doing and such. Kinda be friends. Im kinda over the fact that we screwed up. Im just not so clear WHY and HOW did we screw up so bad that we have to end up here, where ever we are now. LOL. Maybe it's the never give-up spirit in me somewhere deeeeeep down in me, thats telling me that i really wanna try again... But my brains saying NO! SO.... I kinda need to give up the idea about love. No such thing as love.    =D

 Okay. Go fuck yourself.